That night in hospital having baby beside me was great but when he needed changing I was too exhausted to do it so the nurse did, in fact the whole time I was in the hospital I didn't change his nappy at all.
Me and baby were discharged that same day despite I still didn't know WTF I was doing and nurses didn't even check if I was okay. What was supposed to have happened was baby and me were to be transferred to Burwood Hospital but instead baby and me were discharged from Christchurch Womans' and sent straight home. I feel my midwife let me down not following through with our postnatal plan.
Because baby was born 27 days early hubby and I had nothing ready so had to sort a car seat to bring him home, no idea how they were put in either or how they worked, both me and hubby completely lost not knowing anything. The one thing we did have ready at home was cot and bedding, of course nappies, wipes etc.
So here we are hubby and I with baby driving home and I feel very anxious always worried 'What if he cries, what do I do?"
The first days home had regular visits from Midwife checking I'm okay but nothing was said why me and baby weren't transferred like we should have been. I did tell her I had been shaking more and more each day, midwife thought I may have a uti (urinary tract infection) so gave me suggestion to help. I told her I hadn't been sleeping since I was demand feeding every 3 hours and with baby still premature too sleepy to feed properly and that I was in constant pain more so after baby gave me a tear giving birth, midwife suggested have warm cup of water to use when I pee to help with pain, yes this did help.
The living situation was with Mum 'cos funny thing was the day I went into labour hubby and I planned to go house hunting but of course had to cancel. Mum didn't like her house turning into a pigsty and it happens when you're sleep deprived, low on energy and its all about baby this and baby that and I no longer exist.
Before pregnancy I was tidy, active, got things done, organised. During pregnancy I tried to do what I could but always tired, no energy and morning sickness was really bad, the loo got to know me too well during my first trimester, told me jokes that had me laughing at the floor, I'm sure woman who have been pregnant know what I mean. Lots of resting during my pregnancy. After pregnancy lost confidence, felt like a failure, anxious as hell.
Backtrack when I first found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks, at the time I was doing Home Care in the community. This morning I was crook and called my co-ordinator told her I was 6 weeks pregnant and not up to seeing my client, she said I had to do it 'cos there was no-one to relieve me. So despite feeling nauseous I managed something to eat and drink and hubby drove me there.
At clients place doing Home Management (housework) and 30 mins in I almost fainted. I had to tell my client I was pregnant so he understood what was going on. I couldn't finish cleaning so called office spoke to co-ordinator telling her she needs to get someone out there to finish. I wrote down what had been done for the reliever so they knew what to do.
Hubby picked me up and after I got home I used loo and noticed bleeding. I called midwife (different midwife as I was living in Blenheim during my first trimester and ended moving to Christchurch 18 weeks pregnant) told her what was going on and she told me I may be at the start of a miscarriage, told me to rest. Hearing the word miscarriage freaked me out! I rested the rest of the day and the bleeding stopped "phew'.
I read later that if you have spotting during first trimester its a sign that baby may be born premature, in my case baby was born premature.
Another thing that I experienced during pregnancy was I had an allergy to strawberry and ended in a rash on my arms, found something from chemist safe to use help with itching. No I was fine eating anything strawberry before pregnancy, it was only during pregnancy I become allergic.
Back to first days at home with baby. Day 3 I was sitting on bed eating noodles and for no reason just started crying. Midwife came round and saw me with tears in my eyes and I asked her "Is this normal?" apparently yes, 3 days after giving birth new mums cry it's called baby blues and perfectly normal.
During the first week breastfeeding wasn't working out at all, baby too sleepy to feed and I ended up using breast pump, and told to lactate at least 200 mils and it took everything out of me. Did I stop? No I ended up hiring an electric breast pump and continuing.
Another visit from midwife telling me baby is jaundice not getting enough fluid and needed to be taken to hospital for light therapy. Yes a week after giving birth back to hospital next to Christchurch Woman's and I felt like a complete failure.
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